Quite often we go through life wanting one result but getting another. There are lots of things that can actually impact what you get. One of those is what you focus on. The things that we focus on, the things that we say to ourselves, the things that run through our mind really are more in charge of us than we think.
Watch the video to find out how to focus on things that will help you get to your goals
We often say to ourselves “I really want to be able to achieve (achieve goal here)/I want that car/I want that life/I want that weight” etc. But we end up sabotaging ourselves because of what we focus on.
Reticular Activating System (R.A.S.)
This actually comes out of an idea called R.A.S which is our Reticular Activating System. In practice, what that means is well illustrated in phenomena of if you want to buy a red car you all of a sudden you see red cars everywhere.
That’s because our mind can only focus on a small handful of information at any one time. We have about 2 million bits per second of information that comes to us. That includes everything from the temperature, to the things we hear to the way the seat feels on your legs as you sit in it. These are all bits of information. But we can only take in about 126 bits per second. There’s a big difference there between what we get and what we can take in.
Therefore there’s quite a bit of filtering that goes on and that’s based on our experiences, our values and our attitudes. This filters what we focus on by deleting, distorting and generalizing everything else. We only focus on a small amount of information. And that becomes what we then create.
For example, you might be thinking “no that’s not me I focus on things really well”. There are two types of focus: conscious focus and unconscious focus. Sometimes we are not aware that we’re doing it.
A good example of unconscious focus at work is if you’ve had someone come up and give you a compliment and your reply was “oh no but I actually did this wrong.” But what they are telling you is the things you did well. Also statements such as “I’m no good at public speaking/selling/etc.” limit what you output because we get what we focus on. Your results become limited.
So you might say “I’m really big procrastinator”. When you focus on that, you are going to disregard anything to the contrary right. Otherwise you’d be living in conflict internally.
We all unconsciously sabotage our own results. But how do we change that?
The fact that you’re reading this means that you will bring more awareness to what you focus on.
This refers to journaling or reflecting at the end of the day. Ask yourself “What was my intent for the day? What worked and what didn’t?” And you’re going to notice some of the things that you say to yourself and that have been getting in the way. It’s our language that is a key indicator of what we’re focusing on. Big definitive things like “I’ll never/I always/everyone thinks” etc. get in the way of what we’re going to be able to achieve. It shows us what we’re actually focusing on. The unconscious mind doesn’t process negatives well. For example, if you say to a kid “don’t run”, what do they do? They run.
Say it the way you want it
We want to say it the way we want it. So instead of “don’t run” say “walk”. “I am being more successful every day/I can make this happen/I’m learning how to do this better” are all statements that help to change what you focus on.
Change your language and say it the way you want it. I’m not talking about doing affirmations like in the 1980s. Looking in the mirror and saying “I’m amazing, I’m amazing”… If you don’t believe it it’s not going to work. Just say it the way you want it.
Then we want to notice what other self-limiting beliefs we are focusing on. “I’m just an imposter/ I’m not good enough/ I’m not worthy” are all things that might be nattering away in the background. You want to notice that stuff. And those are things that we can start changing. These are things that I can work with you on to resolve. If you really want to achieve your goals then it’s time to focus on the beliefs that will get you there.
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